My 4½-year old daughter recently put several rubber bands around every doorknob in our house. I lived with this for a few weeks, but then I decided it was a bunch of crap and I asked for her permission to take them off (we try the democratic method first). She said, "OK," so I took them all off. All of them but one, that is.

I couldn't get that one off because it was too tight and too far down in the groove between the door and the doorknob.

So I told her I'd have to get a pair of needlenose pliers, and she didn't know what those were, so I tried to draw her a picture.

She said my picture just looked like scissors, so I turned them into a mutant barricuda with big teeth chasing a small fish (uh-oh!). Then she went and got her set of plastic tools and pulled out a screwdriver and asked, "Is this a needlenose?" which actually kinda makes sense if you think about it.

Anyway, I still need to show the kid a pair of real needlenose, but I went ahead and adapted the drawing to include the screwdriver she brought me, so click the thumbnail and prepare to be reassured that I am not a cartoonist.

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Here's another good Emily story. I go in to help her brush her teeth last night, and she's holding the new 'killer whale' toothbrush that the new dentist gave her the day before when she got her first two fillings, and she says, 'My toothbrush is already wet, daddy.'

So I say, 'Well, that's interesting... how did it get wet? What happened?'

'It accidentally fell in the toilet while I was pooping,' she says, 'but it's OK, daddy, 'cause I washed it real, real good.'

'Hmm. Well, I'm sorry kiddo, but we can't use that toothbrush tonight,' I said, and obviously, tears ensued, but we'll work it out, I'm sure.

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Sometimes when you're reading the news, different articles just click when you read them in the right order. Like a few days ago, I read that Obesity is second only to tobbaco as a cause of death, and a few seconds later, I read this warning that McDonald's Salad Has More Fat Than Cheeseburger.

Then I read that scientist studying sonoluminescence may actuallly be getting close to achieving Cold Fusion, and turned around to read an article about shrimp in the ocean who are already doing it?

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Here are some more good guidelines for writers: Ten Mistakes Writers Make.

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I just bought a 128 MB SansDisk MiniCruzer USB memory stick over at Staples for like $40 to move files around between machines, and it's pretty cool, but now I find out I could have gotten a Swiss army knife with a USB mini-drive as one of the blades... Gentles and lady-men, we live in the future.

posted by Chris at 1:02 AM Permalink